четвртак, 08. фебруар 2018.

Lights Down Low

And to see you, see you from behind, from very far. As far as it could be, together only in the imagination. Together only when you held my hand, but to never kiss, to never touch and only to be mine by dream.

To wait the bus with you, to wait at that station. To pray for rain and dark so you cannot walk with him, but join me and wait, to eat popcorn and at the end, the moment came when i realized I was waiting for you the whole time. Would kiss that bus gladly now.

To admire you, to seek what you are. To envy those who have you. And there was always someone. To gather courage to tell you, to kiss you and brake; brake my heart, desires and to wait to fix it. To kiss you and lose you when I had no idea what was having and what was loosing.
To hide your gifts and took a shower so many times just to hide.

To hunt you. To prey on you. Study you and approach you. Get away from you and wait to you to bring me back. Hide with you. Hide and suffer, then to gain courage to leave you, but it was you who left me really. It destroyed us and brought us both what we wanted but with other people and only you were brave and took it.

To be happy. Happiest ever. I was down, I was on my own. Then you came. Then you looked me across that field and smiled.  To give you jacket because you were cold. To play pool, to play chess. To walk with you, to talk to you. Your beautiful voice that told me to tell you a story. To see this city for the first time actually. To kiss and hold your hand. To sleep so peacefully next to you. To hug you when you asked and when you did not. That look, I will never forget the way looked at me. To walk you to station and wave to you, kiss you then and pray to kiss you again some time. It has been so long. It has been so long since.. since.. La vie en rose.

To see you so close. and so far. No one ever was that close and that far. I pictured you long before I met you and met you in others. We knew each other and never truly did. Pictured you and always watching you, listening to you and praying you will come to your senses. To go to distance. It has been too much, and when it is, you were there. Heaven made match. And match that waited for nothing..

Like I often do.. I wait.. No matter you come or, more often, not. I am there..Till the end of the line. Till lights come down low.

понедељак, 11. децембар 2017.


Lack of intellect. Lack of luck. Poverty. Short leg, short hand, short man. No weight, no eye, no finger. No friends. No family. Different skin, different religion. Different language, nationality, different clothes. No clothes, no vacations. No social skills, no girlfriend, no boyfriend, no life. Misfits, lost, forgotten, alone. Different.

We all mock them. We all consider ourselves better then them. We judge them, considering them below us. And feel better by doing so. The more insecure we are the more we mock those who are at tough position. The more we laugh at their face or behind their backs, the better we feel about ourselves. The less we know, the more we judge.

Instead of helping them, we laugh. Instead of protecting them, we attack. Why do we feel better when someone feels worse? Why is it a pleasure to know there is a misfortune that is not ours? Why do we need to feel superior, and why by pointing at someone's problems? Problems that they can't solve nor ignore.

Have they not enough pain? They don't need to be reminded of their suffering, but aided. Let us mock those who humiliate sick, poor, stupid, physically different, ones of different nations and religions, those who have no friends, those who have come from small to bigger world, those who need us more than we think. Let us help those we can help or stay out of the way of those we can't.

It only takes a little bit. It always does. 

четвртак, 09. новембар 2017.


I've always hated stations. Full of people striving to be somewhere else. Me among them. Then you came.

Where is a home when you always need to go? Where is safety once you get hurt? Will a place make you happy or you need to move? Will you find what you need or is it just a lie? What if what you find is not somewhere else?

Do we all need a new chapter after some time, or it stops? What if we settle down but one day wake  up full of regrets because that? And when do you know you've found what you want?

Does a constant need to go ever stops? Is it stopped by a place, by a people or by an outcome? When does it stop to hurt every time you step on the station, buy a ticket and move?

Every station full of people, every man you see there needing not to be there but somewhere else.

Those that don't need to go are like lions-they let the young ones play. They let the young ones bite them and they scream, pretending they are hurt, to encourage kids. They don't get up, just take the hit. The other aninals approach, thinking they can do the same, that they can bite lion. But when the lions stands up, we all know who is the king

Those who don't need to go are like monkeys reaching for moon. They look at it, unable to grab it. The same is for people-those that go always need to go often find themselves reaching untouchable moon. And we all know what happens to a monkey when it reaches for a moon's reflection in a lake-monkey drowns.

I stopped hating stations. Then you left.

недеља, 15. октобар 2017.

Time travellers

Time is powerful  ally-it can make you forget. Time is powerful enemy-it can make you forget. It can make you stop caring. It can make you start caring.

Time is a good friend - it can give you opportunity. And it's even worse enemy as it takes away those opportunities quickly.

Time makes love fade, whether you like it or not. Time also make love appear where you don't except it..

What an enemy time is - makes it easy for everyone to forget you. The worse enemy when you are waiting. The best friend when you do want to forget. The best friend when you don't want to care anymore.

We all say we have no time, never realizing that you don't own the time, you just spend it, wasting it or using it.

Because we all do and don't have the time. It gets into our hands. It brings hope. Then it escapes from our hands along with that hope if we don't take them.

We all know time is slow while we are waiting and fast when it passes. Overwhelming feelings, good or bad, make it stop, make it lost forever. And it always stop because of someone else, we alone don't have power to stop it. It is always someone else who controls our universe and the time in it. Heartbreaks and skipped heartbeats stop it. Even when it finally starts moving forward again, we relieve that moments that last forever.

There is a point in life when we all have time we want to relive. But we can't. The point in life when  we gather bad memories we wish time took away, but it can't.

There is always someone we wish time will get us. Or get us back. No matter who we have beside us, we often hope time will get someone better. Until we meet someone who stops the time. God knows we wish we had power to bring time back if we are unlucky to loose those people.

God  knows we all wish to come the times where we will get her or him who we wan't. Well, time to grab someone you want and need is always-now! Any other time might be late. Too much time will make someone unreachable. Unavailable. Think much and you will loose.

Time comes in life when you realize you won't ever have what and who you wanted. That is the beauty of time-that fear of missing out on thing and people can motivates us to act. Or, when we are scared, to regret.

Scary and amazing as it is, time will pass. Make it not pass in vain.

петак, 18. август 2017.


Sometimes, you think you are going somewhere, and all of the sudden, journey is over. You are nowhere where you want to be, wondering - where you go next?

Sometimes all roads are done, leaving you with no clue where to go next. No doors open, no ladder to climb; sometimes you stare at opstacles, not able to avoid them.

Sometimes all the roads you want to go are closed. All you ever want to be at is not reachable; all the steps you have to take to get there are not available. Sometimes all you can do is watch your dreams in a distance, unable to get them, staring empty as they move away, even further.

Sometimes you look at the moon. You want to reach it. But you can't. So you waint, untill one day you find its reflection in the lake. You reach for it, and you drown.

Sometimes you know you need to go, but you don't know where. You end up asking yourself - where I want to go? No response. Just pale face in the mirror staring at you.

Sometimes there are no bridges to connect you to ones youu want to connect; sometimes those want to be with pased those same bridges that now separate you; torn roads apart, torn you apart.

Sometimes there is a light at the end of a tunnel, and sometimes you enter a tunnel with no exit so you have to come back through the same dark of the tunnel to the place where tou started.

Sometimes you climb a mountain- the view is always better on the top of it. But will you like the view? Will you like seeing another mountain, higher, with worse path to the top, darker woods with more danger? Will you be willing to climb it, just to get a better view? Will the view from the current mountain you are be worth something, knowing there is a better view? Will that view be enough, or you will seek for more?

Do we know where we actually want to be? Are we capable of admitting such a thing to ourselves? Should we even care or just let it all happen? How much do we control, and how much is destiny, luck, fate, gods.. ? Are we allowed to be sad when we are not what we want to be, knowing we will eventually get where we want to get?

I don't know, guess it is up to each one of us to find out. We just need to wait, no matter how scary, lonely or hard it gets.